Parts of a Query Letter
Query letters are an integral part of the traditional publishing process, but writing one can be the bane of querying authors’ existence (Yes, Bridgerton Season 2 lives rent-free in my mind. I have no shame. I’m not sorry). To demystify the writing-a-query process, I’m going to break down the parts of a query letter and explain what information you need to include. Hopefully, this can help you assess what elements of a query you already have and identify what’s missing!
A few caveats before I get into it:
I’m not an expert! I’m an author. I am NOT an agent or editor myself.
The below format is a good way to think about a query letter, not the only way. I’ve broken the plot elements of a query into three distinct body paragraphs. This does not mean that your query needs to mirror this exactly. While queries should include all of the below information, the actual format of your query can vary, and that’s totally fine! Having three body/plot paragraphs was useful to me, but you might have more or fewer than that. Again, the important thing is the information, not the number of paragraphs.
Within each section, I included an example from my own query letter. Not because my query is flawless (there’s no such thing!), but because it’s mine, so I feel comfortable dissecting it publicly. For more examples of successful queries from agented or formerly agented authors with their own commentary, see here!
Body Paragraph 1: Main Character(s), goals, inciting incident/first significant event
Think of the first paragraph as an introduction to your main character, what they want, and the first thing to go wrong for them in your story. A big “hiccup” I see querying authors make is treating this first body paragraph as setup. For example: using the entire paragraph to explain background information for the character, setting, or worldbuilding. Instead of using this first body paragraph to set up events from before the story begins, try introducing us to the main character, tell us what they want, and tell us something that happens in the story.
I usually try and get to the inciting incident in the first paragraph. But if that’s not possible (and there are many reasons why this may not be possible!), get to a major plot point that progresses the story. By the end of this first plot paragraph, you want to give the reader (agent) a reason to keep going. This is your hook! The first impression an agent has of your story. Make it interesting and relevant to what will happen in your story and not focused on what has happened in the past.
Questions you want this paragraph to answer:
Who is your main character?
What do they want?
What kickstarts the plot of your story?
Example from my query letter: With a smile she can bring any man to his knees, with a song she can guide him to his grave. To slake her siren bloodlust, seventeen-year-old Saoirse lives a double life; soldier by day, assassin for an unknown employer by night. When she’s assigned to Prince Hayes’s personal guard, she’s determined to hate him— after all, his father slaughtered the rest of her kind and left her the only siren in her kingdom.
Body Paragraph 2: Secondary Character/Love Interest, and rising tension
This is where secondary characters come into play (your secondary character might make an appearance in the first paragraph. That’s ok! You just want to make sure that important secondary characters are introduced before we get to the stakes).
Think of this as the tension that builds as a result of the inciting incident or, a major B plot that factors into the MC’s goals or the stakes. Any additional information or tension that is integral to us understanding the stakes, needs to be fleshed out here. Basically, if there’s something we need to understand before getting into the stakes, include it here!
Questions you want this paragraph to answer:
What is keeping the MC from getting what they want?
What complicates the MC’s life as described in the first paragraph?
Are there any additional factors shaping the MC’s motivations?
Example from my query letter: When Saoirse kills a friend of Hayes for her employer, he launches an investigation into the mystery woman assassin and recruits Saoirse’s help. Forced to finally ask questions about her former victims, she realizes each target is part of her employer’s larger plot to kill the Royal family. Worse, he’s starting with Hayes, who seems less like his father with each passing day.
Body Paragraph 3: Stakes
The final plot element you need to include in your query letter are the stakes. Think of the stakes as potential consequences. I think we tend to assume stakes need to be life or death— but they don’t. Stakes can be relatively mundane, as long as we know why they matter. Assess what your main character has to lose or gain. Stakes are most effective when they directly interfere with a goal you set up for your MC. Remember that stakes are not just something bad happening. Bad is relative. Make it clear why what’s at stake is bad specifically for your MC.
Even something that feels objectively bad, like the end of the world, isn’t necessarily a compelling consequence on its own. You still need something at stake that connects to the MC personally. When in doubt, reflect on what goals you established for your MC and try and tie your stakes into that. You want all three plot paragraphs (or however many plot paragraphs you have) to connect to each other.
Remember: Each body paragraph is building on your MC’s goals. Either complicating them or making it harder for your MC to achieve them.
Questions you want this paragraph to answer:
What happens if your MC does or does not get what they want?
What are the potential consequences of your MC’s choices?
Why should the reader care?
Example from my query letter: A pawn in someone else’s game, Saoirse has to decide what matters more: keeping her secrets from the Royal family she’s always despised, or protecting Hayes— the first man who doesn’t need a Siren Song to fall for her.
Meta Data
This is all the information about your book that isn’t the plot. So, the title, word count, age category, genre, and comp titles.
Example from my query letter: SING ME TO SLEEP is a 95-thousand-word YA Fantasy with the dark seduction of The Shadows Between Us, and the siren protagonist struggling to hide her identity of A Song Below Water. With its central female protagonist teetering between her image as a hauntingly beautiful Siren and a disguised member of the army, this novel is reminiscent of the split-face movie poster of Disney’s Mulan.
Comp titles are something a lot of authors (understandably) struggle with. For tips on comp title conventions and how to pick the perfect one, check out Sarah MacLean’s blog post about it (featuring yours truly)!
Bio
I think a lot of us tend to overthink the bio paragraph. Which is fair because I think I spent more time writing three sentences for my bio than the rest of my query altogether. But really, a bio is just a few quick sentences about you. It doesn’t need to be in-depth, in fact, I’d argue that it shouldn’t be in-depth.
A few things you might want to include (if they apply): Ever had a short story/poem published in an anthology or literary magazine? Have a relevant degree? Include that!
None of the above? All good! (I had none of them and it all worked out just fine) Some safe topics to include: where you’re from, what you do, something pithy about your fur babies, or a sentence about a fun hobby. All of the above is fair game!
If you have biographic information directly relevant to your story, include that as well! For example, if you’re from where your story takes place and the setting is an important aspect of the book, say that! If your MC does a niche activity like the luge and you spend your summers luging in Italy, that’s super cool! Say that too!
Also feel free to include any kind of social media following. If you’re writing fiction, you do NOT need to have a major platform to be traditionally published, but that kind of information is good to include if it applies. Even if you don’t have a large following, you can still note your social handles if you’re active, just to give the agent a chance to see your personality. This is absolutely not necessary, but if you’re comfortable sharing, you can!
Example from my query letter: As an African American author, this novel is #ownvoices*. All of the characters are shades of Black and Brown.
I’m a native St. Louisan with the midwestern accent to prove it. I spend most of my time finding beautiful places to hike and enjoying the endless snow in Maine. I have no prior publishing experience, but I write constantly — both novels and jotting down orders at the restaurant where I wait tables.
*There’s an asterisk by #ownvoices because We Need Diverse Books (WNDB) issued a statement explaining why it has shifted away from using this phrase. This query was written and sent before this statement was issued. To be clear, YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY STILL USE THIS, but if you’re interested in more nuance so that you can make an educated decision regarding this phrase, please check out the article explaining here.
Personalization*
I put this one last, but in an actual query, it would go first. This one has an asterisk because it’s not mandatory! But it’s another element of a query you might consider. Personalization is explaining why you are querying a certain agent and citing something specific from their Manuscript Wishlist. Personally, I tried to personalize every query I sent, but this is a preference, not a rule.
Example from my query letter: I am querying you after perusing your #MSWL and seeing you are on the lookout for morally complex characters. I hope my YA siren fantasy with a powerful female protagonist struggling to curb her murderous impulses and provide for her adopted family piques your interest.
You’re Still Here?
Thanks for reading through the end! For me, writing a query letter became infinitely easier when I thought about it in terms of these distinct parts, but again, what’s more important than the number of paragraphs, is the content. I have another blog post on common hiccups I see in query letters. If you’re interested, check it out here!
There are tons of archives online of successful queries. Check out Laura Samotin’s blog for successful queries and Query Shark’s blog for queries with line comments from a literary agent. If you have any questions, I am always happy to answer. Happy querying!
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